iamhealthiernow

I don't know what I expected from my Beta Results. I wanted a good, strong, number. But I had to keep in mind that I was only 8dpt5dt, so more like 13 days vs the 14 days. The one day can make a difference on HCG levels or so I tell myself. I wanted to keep my emotions in check. I was hoping for a beta of over 50, but if I was lucky in the 100's. Anything over 50 is what my clinic likes to see. Anything between 5-25 is iffy and most likely not a viable pregnancy (although there are always exceptions to the rule). Talk about the longest day EVER! Waiting from my 8am blood draw until 2:11pm to get the phone call was excruciating. I swear, I was so tempted to POAS all day just to relieve the pressure and anxiety from waiting. I will say that I did POAS this morning and the FRER line was as light as it was yesterday. It had me fearing the worse - that this would end up being a chemical pregnancy. The Beta Results Call Can I be honest and say that I've waited so long and imagine...

I made it to beta testing day without testing early. J/K! Not me. I have no restraint. I've been peeing on a stick (POAS) since 3dpt (three days post transfer). I know, I know. I have no patience! So, POAS I did.... many, many sticks. I also spent many hours googling this and that.  "Faintest of faint lines on a FRER"  "Negative on 3dpt, but positive later"  "Evap lines on FRER"  "Indent lines on FRER"  "Positive on FRER after the recommended time"  You get the picture. Over obsessing much? Well yeah. TTC for so long, it becomes part of the "routine" in a way.  I was back and forth on whether I was going to post this blog entry... But I figure, I've been pretty up-to-date with things, so why stop now? Here is the madness from the last few days.  Early Testing:  As I mentioned, I tested early... and often. It wasn't intentional, but once I started to POAS - I just couldn't stop! Here's how it's all gone...

I have to admit, I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I will test early. I'm tempted to test early so I'll "know" earlier. But at the same time, I'm worried about getting a false positive again. Luckily my Beta test is at 8dp5dFET, instead of 9dp. Trust me, one day earlier makes a huge difference. Originally I was thinking I was not going to test early. But after stressing about it even before my transfer, I decided that yes - yes I will POAS. And I'll do it many-many times. No restraint for me. Technically, I transferred two Day 6 embryos.  But my clinic counts it like it's a Day 5 transfer.  I had all this anxiety around my transfer and then when I had the transfer, it was like the anxiety disappeared... now, I am curious about how this cycle will end... but I don't have much anxiety over it, if that makes sense.  PIO Fun  As normal, PIO has become a pain. I had my first experience with finding blood in the needle when I pulled out. I a...

As tired as I was, I couldn't sleep last night. So anxious for my transfer. I did what I normally do when I'm anxious before a procedure, I read other blogs! It's a little strange going through IVF. Every step is so planned. There's also all this uncertainty during each step of the process. The one cool thing about IVF is the pictures of your embryo that you get. First baby pictures at the cell level. Craziness. But there's also the "knowing" that this one procedure can impact the rest of your life - if it works. As I thought about my transfer today I kept wondering, " Will today be the day my life will change? " To get to this point, it's been months in the making. My frozen embryos were retrieved on February 17th, 7 months ago! Not to mention all the stuff that had to happen to get to retrieval and all that's happened since. The gift of technology. But even with technology, there's no guarantee that IVF will work. That's all in...

I've been meaning to post for days now, but I've just been so very tired! The progesterone just gets me every time. I feel like I'm dragging and wish I could just snuggle into bed or take a long-long all-day nap. I think this time is harder because I'm also commuting to work vs when I cycled before I was working from home. The extra hours are getting the most of me!  **Yawn** I can't believe my FET is almost here. Two more days until I transfer my last 2 frosties. My mind is overly consumed with this cycle. I wish I could "turn it off," but it's just so difficult. I want it to work so bad. Then I think I shouldn't want it that bad because I can jinx it. So I try not to think about it, which makes me think about it. And so on. Lol. Not to mention I have my emotions all over the place due to the increase in estrogen from the patches to the vaginal estrace. I'm just on overload from emotions and sleepiness. Laying in bed watching a chick flick wou...

I'm at the point in my cycle where I'm obsessively thinking about my FET. Doesn't matter how busy I am, it's on my mind - constantly. Non-stop. 24-7. I don't remember if I was this intense or not on my last cycles. I've been trying to keep busy, but it doesn't matter - my mind and heart are "all in" about this FET. All in with my last two embryos from IVF #2 . I remember feeling so optimistic and happy with the results of that cycle and thinking I was just so much closer to having a baby. My very last 2 embryos, my day 6-ers that trudged to the blastocyst stage, is all that's left of that cycle and of all my IVF tries thus far. It feels like a huge deal to me. If this doesn't work, I have to start over. All over. Do it all again. My mind just can't wrap around that concept just yet...  I'll know in 14 days if this cycle works or not. My beta is on 9/30. Crazy. Two more weeks until I can know what my next few months are going to loo...

Things are moving along with my FET cycle. I'm happy to report that I officially stopped bleeding after 2.5 weeks. Thank goodness. Sorry if it's TMI, but it's part of the "documentation" process for this FET cycle. I wasn't sure when my actual AF arrived since I was already bleeding from the endo scratch , I'm just glad it's over.  I have to admit, this no caffeine thing is really hard right now. With all the extra emotions with the meds and all the hormones, this morning I was just dragging. Wish I can have some coffee :(  PIO Drama  Before I get into my monitoring appointment, I wanted to update on an issue that came up ordering the Progesterone In Oil (PIO). I ordered the PIO from my new pharmacy last month . When I ordered it, they didn't mention anything being wrong and said they would deliver it this week. Then last week I received a call from the pharmacy and it turns out that my insurance will not cover PIO. No forms of PIO - compounded or ...

I officially started the "countdown" to FET #2 when I started stims on Sat (9/3). I can't believe that my FET is coming up soon. Here are some random thoughts/things that have gone on since my last FET #2 update.  The Worry I've been pretty good about not worrying too much about the FET. I've been pretty busy, which helps. But it's sitting there in the back of my mind... the worry that it won't work. It's like a solid block just lingering there, making me wonder about the "what ifs" in the scenario that it doesn't work out again. I wish I could squash it, but it's hard for me. I feel like I need to be prepared either way. Emotional I'm thinking that Lupron may be a trigger for my emotional instability! Once I started Lupron my emotions were all over the place. Migraines Every since mid-August I've been getting the most horrible migraines. They're so bad, that one day on the weekend I had to send my son to the babysitter be...

Another month just flew by! A lot went on, but it doesn't feel like much happened. If that makes any sense. I'm busy now with my Toastmasters volunteer duties, always busy with my son, I started FET #2, I made a lot of progress on some of my goals, and I managed my first big project at work. Not to mention my son and I were sick for half the month. I've also been getting some frequent migraines (no fun). Nevertheless, the month was "successful" in terms of GETTING THINGS DONE. I also read 6 books this month, so yay! There was a lot to be grateful for this month, to keep adding to my   Gratitude project  list. I've been trying not to *repeat* anything on my lists and to come up with new things everyday. Some days are easier than others! I'm not sure how successful I've been in not repeating things, but I'm doing my best to find new things everyday. Since I started my gratitude list in October 2015, I now have 396 items on my list. When I'm fee...