9w+6d: Last Day of Meds and MFM injections training

*** Back posting this since I wrote it last week, but didn't publish it. 

I have to admit that everyday I'm pregnant, I give a sigh of relief. I just can't shake the fear. It's so hard to believe that I am pregnant and that everything is going to be ok. Paranoia from my TTC Infertility journey? Just pregnancy anxiety? Or a little of both? 

There's "controversy" over when the 1st trimester really ends. My OB goes by 12 weeks, other places say it's 13 weeks. I'll feel great when I make it to 12 weeks... then 13... then 14 :)

I've told one co-worker about the pregnancy because it'll impact the deal allocation schedule. Felt weird saying it out loud to someone I'm not really close to. 

MFM Injection Training: Insulin 

I have to admit, when I picked up my insulin from the pharmacy, I felt a little defeated. I didn't feel like this originally, I always felt it was almost inevitable to get put on insulin for my pregnancy. I also know why it's necessary and needed. 

However, the reality of picking up the supplies... the reality of doing injections training... and the reality that I'll have to give myself 2-3 injections a day until I give birth... I felt like I failed in a way. When I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 2008, it was one of my lowest moments. It almost felt like the end of things. So dramatic, but that's how it felt at the time. I had said I would never go on insulin. My diabetes has been in control by diet, then with Metformin. My levels have been really good and sometimes even in the "regular" range. 

So although I know it's necessary, it still is a moment where I'm faced with my diabetes diagnosis and that my body doesn't process things like normal people. 

Injections training was quick and easy, since I am pretty skilled at injections at this point. We discussed my food log and she said it's good that my levels stay good when I eat right, she says that's not the case for everyone. It's when I eat badly that my levels go bonkers. So I'm hoping after my food aversions lift and I have more energy, I'll be able to cook and eat better. 

I do love my MFM doctor! She wants me to call on her cell phone to let her know how my dosage is going. I'm not one to bug doctors unnecessarily... but she insisted. Feel very good having her as my doctor. 

First Insulin Shot 

After doing PIO, insulin needles are sooooo easy. I don't even feel it. 



Last Day of Meds 

I had my last day of my IVF Meds... no more Progesterone In Oil, no more progesterone suppositories, no more vaginal estrace, no more estrogen patches. Crazy... it's almost scary to stop the Meds. 



Overall 

Surprisingly enough, so far the pregnancy hasn't been so bad. There was the SCH scare... which still gives me some hesitation to get excited about the pregnancy. The nausea isn't "that" bad, the food aversions suck really bad, and the diabetes impact on the pregnancy sucks. But overall, things have been going well. I think a lot of the food aversions and stress was due to my high glucose levels and worrying about the impact on my baby. 

With all that, I have a good healthcare team in place to help with everything that needs to be helped with. I'm well taken care of and well monitored. 

I worry though because the last time I felt pretty good about the pregnancy was at 7 weeks and that's when the SCH hit... I just hope that nothing crazy or unexpected happens. I really would like a boring pregnancy! Some good news is, I seemed to have stopped bleeding - for now anyways. I've been spotting almost non-stop with stringy blood clots. Yesterday it seems to have stopped. It stopped once before, so will see if it starts up again. 

There's also the anxiety that I haven't seen the baby for a week. I don't have another ultrasound until 11/22, which feels like light years away! The lack of pregnancy symptoms always has me worried that something is wrong. I hope I don't feel like this for the entire pregnancy, but I'm sure I'll feel like this for the remainder of the first trimester. I just hope my baby is ok, it's hard to just "trust" my body after all the Infertility issues and my diabetes. 

Next Steps: 

11/17/16: Cardiologist Echocardiogram 
11/22/16: NT scan and NIPT 
12/2/16: OB followup 


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