iamhealthiernow

Not really sure where to begin... feels like a lot has happened since I last wrote. Guess I'll write where I left off from Sunday. RE Appointment 10/24/16 (7w+2d)  I had my appointment with my RE on Monday. After the subchorionic hemorrhage on Sunday, I just couldn't shake the "fear" that came when I saw all that blood and the blood clots. I had continued to spot afterwards. Luckily it wasn't a lot and most of it was brown spotting. I did have one incident of red spotting again, but not much of it. But every time I saw the blood... It just was so upsetting and I just couldn't shake it. I found this good explanation of a subchorionic hemorrhage on this blog:  http://mommyknowswhatsbest.com/2015/07/what-causes-subchorionic-hemorrhage-in-pregnancy/ Here's a useful picture of what it means:  I called my RE's office first thing on Monday morning to tell them about the incident, so that I wouldn't have to explain it all when I got in there and my doctor ...

I started feeling some pressure in my cervix area at about 11am today. It was uncomfortable, but didn't hurt. I dropped my son off at the babysitter and was headed to a brunch to meet some other SMC's. While I was driving, I started to feel wet and I felt like I passed something. At first I was thinking it was the vaginal suppository just making me extra "moist" as it can do. I was wearing a pad because the suppository has a tendency to leak out throughout the day.  When I got to the restaurant, I felt wet along my thighs. At first I thought I was just sweating or getting a hot flash. I went to the restroom and I had bled through my pad, blood was down my legs, it even went above the pad and was on my tummy, and there was a massive blood clot on the pad.  I left the restaurant without meeting with the SMC's and texted one to let her know I thought I was miscarrying.  I wasn't sure what to do... I was in a bit of a panic from all the blood. I ended up calling m...

Every since I saw my baby's heartbeat, I started to let myself relax a little bit. This was really happening, positive HPT + good doubling betas + baby's heartbeat at first ultrasound  = pregnant! I've started getting comfortable and allowing myself to let some happiness into the thought of "pregnant." I even started making tentative plans... how/when to announce my pregnancy to family, how/when to announce to friends, mentally thinking about the nursery, etc. Then, right when I start feeling really good about being pregnant -- the fears drop in. Like today, I don't feel pregnant today and I started to worry that maybe something was wrong... It's like the days that pass that I don't have physical or visual confirmation that the baby is ok, make it hard to believe that everything is ok. Seeing the heartbeat really carried me for a few days... but now I'm counting down until the day I get to see it again and confirm it's still there. I read anoth...

I was a little freaked out about my ultrasound. Like having crazy dreams and stuff about what was going to happen! So anxious... Now, to level set on the ultrasound. It's EARLY. They told me not to expect to see much. What they should see is: the gestational sac (if there's more than one), the yolk sac, and where baby has implanted. They can maybe see: the fetal pole and heartbeat.  Of course I googled and googled, watched videos of ultrasounds at 5 weeks.  I would say I went into my ultrasound being 100% prepared of what I should see and what I might see. It's kind of like my IVF stims. Once I saw the follicle development on the monitor (or lack there of), I knew when something was wrong and when stims were going right.  This was the first time I saw my RE since my egg transfer on 9/22. I was super nervous/anxious to have the ultrasound done. When we started, I thought I saw the gestational sac right away, but didn't want to get too excited, so waited until he walke...

It's interesting, my entire TTC journey has not gone AT ALL how I pictured it. I thought that once I received a beautiful two line POSITIVE pregnancy test that I would just be over the moon and excited. And yes, I was and am, excited... at the possibilities of IF everything goes well. Instead of a "YES, I'm finally pregnant!! WOOHOO!" reaction, I've had a very cautious - stressful - and uncertain few weeks. I received my first positive pregnancy test that was "clear" on 9/29/16, not a squinter. My reaction? I couldn't believe it... is this really happening? Then, I had beta #1 on 9/30/16 and got a 30 HCG level. Since I've been "around" for a while with TTC and have read many blogs and read through many forums, I knew that 30 was extremely low. Instead of the excitement I had hoped for, I've been living in a sort of trepidation that this hope of IF was going to turn out badly. I know what everyone says... "Just enjoy it for now,...

I've been meaning to post! But I normally do my updates on my phone app & since I did my phone upgrade, the app has been crashing! Writing posts in my phone browser is not very productive. I just haven't had time to get on my home computer to type.  Well, I had beta #4 last Friday & here were the results:  Yes... I POAS on beta day! At least the line finally got darker. Then I had beta #5 today, here were the results: All together from the beta base:  Today was my last FRER and I won't be buying more!!! I posted my betas with my HPT because I did so many internet searches trying to find a correlation! I'm sure there's not one, but here they are progressively getting darker. I have to admit that I was a little worried that my doubling time seems to have slowed down... it's still doubling within the "normal" range of 48-72 hours. But I can't help but worry. It's hard when I see other people's betas being so high and tripling and all t...

I had my beta #3 yesterday and I got good news! Doubling time is 37.2 hours!  8dpt5dt [13 dpo], 9/30/16 = 30 11dp5dt [16 dpo], 10/3/16 = 83.1 13dp5dt [18 dpo], 10/5/15 = 203.3 I took another digital in the morning of my beta and it came out to 2-3 weeks. It only shows that if HCG is over 200, so I was really hopeful going into my test that my levels would be over 200.  I know I should stop POAS and today, I didn't! So yay :) I might reserve them for beta days. But I'm not planning on buying any more. I can't really tell if they're darker and the test line is always lighter than the control line. It's not a real science anyways! Only blood work can really tell you how things are going.  Here is an HCG level chart. I'm considered 4 weeks right now, so my levels are just about in the middle of this.  I'm not really sure how I should feel at this point... I'm thrilled and in almost disbelief that my numbers keep doubling. There's so much possibility in t...

Since I found out my beta results were so low, I've been Googling so much! I knew I wouldn't really know until after the 2nd beta came back on where things will stand... but it's hard sitting around and not being able to do anything. So, I POAS some more! The day after my beta (9dpt), I was convinced that this was a chemical pregnancy. The line looked slightly darker, but not by much. Then I took a test the next day at 10dpt and the line was obviously darker. I don't know if that really told me anything on how much my beta was going up or even *if* it was going up... But it was really nice to compare the lines and see a noticeable change, which made me feel more hopeful about things. I had to wait from 8am until about NOON to get my results of my second beta. Here they are: 8dpt5dt [13 dpo], 9/30/16 = 30 11dp5dt [16 dpo], 10/3/16 = 83.1 This is really good because I have a double time of about 49 hours. I thought doubling time was 36-72 hours, but some websites say 48-7...